~a treasury of humour~

Here are some jokes to brighten your day...hope you enjoy it.....^_^

#peeping tom
A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life.Unable to get a clear picture of her problems, he asked,"Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?"
The woman says, "well, i did once."
"Well, how did he look?
"very angry"says the woman.
At this point,the psychiatrist felt he was really getting somewhere and he said,"how did you see his face that time?"
"he was looking through the window at me!"


#keeping healthy
My mother-in-law started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60.
And she's 97 today and we don't know where she is.

#the plot
One year, a guy bought his mother-in-law a cemetery plat as a Christmas gift.The following year, he didn't buy her a gift. So when she asked him why, he replied ,"well,you still haven't used the gift i bought you last year!!"

#Daddy's little boy
One summer evening, during a violent thunder storm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the lights when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I cant dear," she said, "I have to sleep with daddy."
A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy!!"

#When looks don't count
After completing his examination, the doctor took her husband aside. "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither, Doc," said the husband. "But she's a good cook and the kids seem to like her."

#Are condoms really safe?
Condoms aren't really safe. A friend of mine was wearing a condom and got hit by a bus.

#Show off
To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some wine, he picked up the menu and ordered.
"We'll have the Guiseppe Spomdalucci," he said.
"Sorry sir," said the waiter."That's the owner!"

#Multiple choice for blonds
The blond reports for her university final examination, which which consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for 5 minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for tails.
Within half an hour, she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

Moderator:"Is anything the matter?"

Blond:"I finished the exam in half an hour. But, i am rechecking my answers."